I went out to meet an old friend a few days back and watched a movie I didn't really want to watch. It was definitely fun, if you consider a conversation filled with uncomfortable silences and alcohol fun. Actually it wasn't all silence. I was desperately trying to fill in the gaps, and the reaction was more of a stunned silence. Yes, I do so make the good conversationalist. I think I broke my brain straining to think of conversation topics. Things were just... peachy. All of a sudden, we just lost everything and we just couldn't be bothered to try and get it back. Okay, that sounded straighter in my head and less like marriage counselling advice. It's is a little sad, becuse we used to be pretty close. We both struggled in our studies (we copied each other's homework every morning), with religion (she was a fluctuating christian and I was a fluctuating atheist), with relationships (you can only imagine the messes we made), and with chronic truancy (we claimed to have gotten food poisoning each time we skipped class together). I even once went so far as to entertain the thought that she might be my long lost sister. But in all honesty, I should be mature enough to know that things will inevitably change. Then why do I still feel so sad.
There are a lot of great things I know I will not be able to accomplish in this lifetime. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to be a rock star and teaching Bono a thing or two about clearing his throat before singing. But more likely I would be doing drugs and collapsing into myself like a dying cosmic star. Or to be a pirate, which would require the decapitation of specific limbs, which on hindsight would not be such a good idea. Or to be a writer, and write the sequel to the Da Vinci Code (the first book was actually all an elaborate conspiracy of one man's hysterical delusion oh wait, that's real life.) Ahh but life has yet to close these doors. There might be hope for me after all.
