And I have to speculate, that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay.

I do realize there is little here on Earth more boring than hearing someone talk about themselves, but I must tell you this or I’ll explode (not really). It’s about the MBTI. It states that I’m an overly-sensitive, delusional doormat prone to bouts of emo (in admittedly less colourful, more diplomatic terms). And annoyingly, I can’t refute it. A smart-looking website nonchalantly compares me to ET (yes, the alien!), although I’m not sure how I feel about it (to be honest, I have always wondered if I were really (secretly) an alien. My favorite color is green, I like Star Wars and most of the time people feel like a foreign species to me). But what really is mind-boggling is that this site also said that my boyfriend/husband/lesbian life partner (?!) would have to be understanding and preferably paint imagery-heavy word pictures in their speech to accommodate my short-attention span. Which incidentally, is how I talk to my sister. And she’s FOUR.

All joking aside, I’m panicking inside (rhyme!). My sister’s FOUR, which means that sometimes when I see her I see a ticking time bomb. The idea that I’ll be responsible for anybody else’s well-being is plainly stupid and terrifying. I can’t even take care of myself properly (did I mention the reason why I’m writing an entry now is because I’m sick?) It’s like a deadline to mature and assume the role of a “young mom” and it’s a horrible idea and anytime I’m in charge of anything it just backfires horribly and oh god she’s going to hate me isn’t she.

On a separate and more irritating note, I have been working on disciplining my thoughts. Quite recently I have had a crush on this guy (cute, swimmer, and let’s never talk about this again) so in order to not think about him, I am using a form of aversive therapy. Every time I find myself thinking about him (quite often I might add), I’ll immediately think of something gross, like stepping barefoot on a cockroach. Or all my worldly possessions being turned a bright shade of bubblegum pink. So far, the only side effects are that I watch where I step very carefully and I take abit longer to coordinate my clothes.

Ever since I got back, I’ve also been taking nightly walks around Serangoon Gardens. It’s lovely here. YP used to walk around the estate at night when she was more mobile (the last time was probably a few years ago) and I can see why she enjoys it so. Every time I go for walk, I’m reminded of her and feel less sad for missing her so much. Time always seems to fly by when the world is slowing down.

That's it for now. Have a nice week (and don't leave your Christmas shopping to the last minute)