21 things I’ve learned in 21 years (and 5 months).
Happiness is elusive when you go looking directly for it.
Love yourself. It’s cheesy but I think it’s important to recognize that picture-perfection doesn’t exist, and sometimes learning to appreciate your own flaws is part of understanding yourself better and finding your strength.
Fear is misunderstood. In case you don’t know me, I’m a walking bundle of insecurities. I don’t have it all together yet, but I think maybe learning to confront your fears is part of growing up and becoming a stronger person.
Be thankful. I’ve always felt guilty, especially around friends, when my parents always seemed to be able to give me a little more spending money than strictly necessary. But I’ve realized it’s not about hiding what you have, but just concentrating on being a good friend and a generous person.
Learn to say no. While being helpful is important, I think it’s important to create boundaries as well or you’ll end up feeling overwhelmed, guilty and resentful.
Find purpose and meaning in the things you do.
Understand what’s important to you. When I was young, it was the opinions of my family that determined the choices I could make to make them proud of me. And although I know the arts is neither the most lucrative nor their ideal career choice for me, I think they value the fact that I’ve made this choice knowingly and am willing to work hard at it.
Surround yourself with a good support system. This was especially important when I was away in a foreign land by myself: to make sure that there are people around whom you can rely on, and who will support, encourage and motivate you in whatever you choose to do.
Learning how to handle criticism. To be honest, I’m still really bad at handling myself and accepting criticisms graciously especially in conflict situations (which there inevitably will be). But what seems to work for me is to be as objective as I am able, learn as much as I can from the situation and move on.
Focus on your health. This is pretty much said to death in every self-help book (not that I’ve been looking… much), but it’s there for a reason. Eating well and exercising regularly does seem affect my mood (I’m less crabby).
It’s OKAY to ask for help.
It will pass. Whatever crap you go through, no matter how shitty, remind yourself that it will pass.
It really is possible to forgive and let go. It’s not always the easiest journey, but it’s worth it just letting some things be.
Smiling is contagious (Right now I'm smiling. Can you feel it? =D)
I love teh peng. I wish I had some now.
Take in everything. There’s a phrase, “seek first to understand, then to be understood”. I can’t really explain it well.
Just because someone is no longer around, doesn’t mean that person is gone from your life.
Be open and friendly. I think it’s fairly obvious this is a work-in-progress. And while I don’t see having a wide range of friends as a priority, meeting new people is always interesting.
Be gentle with expectations and judgments.
Kids are amazing. Sometimes simply hanging out with someone say, under 6 can change your perspective of the world.
It’s never too late to be who you want. (George Eliot said this, so I'm taking it with a tiny grain of salt)
