One too many goals, that measure of your worth, to seek your weight in gold.

It has been a big fear of mine for the longest time (bigger than public speaking even) that if I should one day dare to put in effort into something I'm passionate about and come up short (pun!), there would be no one to blame but myself. In fact, one of my dreams is to write a novel. And there are so many ideas swimming around in my head which I desperately want to put to paper. But there is still this fear. This incorrigible paralyzing fear, that god forbid I should actually decide to pursue something I want and it turns out to be a mediocre piece of toerag, that will be all that's left to define me. My gravestone will read:

"Rachel Chan 1988 -
Daughter, Sister, Friend and
Toerag.
No real accomplishments, but I'm sure if you knew her you would find her quite delightful.
Oh well."

I'm a little lost, to be honest. I know lots of people* who use fear as a motivating tool, but I just haven't found my own courage yet.

It is the teaching break now, and the assignments are piling in. So if I don't blog for awhile, please don't think I killed myself. Despite timing.

*Okay! Clearly I lied. I don't actually know anyone like that, but I was trying to prove a point.