I am a grump. I am grumpy. I am feeling grumpery. Nothing is right, everything is wrong. If I had a dollar for every time I felt grouchy today, I would now have… a dollar. But if I could stomp around muttering, “grump grump grump,” it would feel delightfully correct. I suppose I could. Nothing’s really stopping me. Except maybe my extraordinary sense of propriety. Hah I couldn’t even say that without smirking a little.
(Pause to eat a jellybean.)
I cooked some soup just now. It was fun, with Jackson instructing me to put stuff in. In the end, it turned out too bland. So they put soy sauce in, then it was too black. But it’s nice to finally have a routine. I’m quite happy to be spending every evening cooking with them.
So I’m going to Sydney tomorrow for the weekend, and it’ll be fun. I’m not entirely convinced it won’t be awkward, since I’m already the odd duck from another hall. But it should be fun. If I’m extra nice maybe they won’t leave me in Sydney.
I had a strange thought this afternoon. I’m not sure why it’s such a big deal, but I don’t like the person I am becoming here. Being independent is also harder than I thought, since I apparently have no working sense of direction or an existent cooking sense. People here are different, and changing myself to fit in seems so hypocritical. I wish I could say that I would never change myself for anyone or anything, but that’s neither true nor realistic. What is wrong with me.
(Pause to boil some water for tea)
I need a real drink. No, not mineral water, you charming scamp! I mean a nice cold bottle of Heineken. I’ve been having a headache that shrieks “you need a drink, friend”, but there isn’t anyone here I know well enough to drink with. I’m not even sure why I’m mentioning the headache. It’s probably from trying to decipher what my lecturer is saying. “This ahl hahppened burforr Wahld Hwor Hwone.” Jubilee, my head aches. (By the way, feel free to use Jubilee as an exclamation. Try it. It’ll make you happy. Jubilee!) I’ve always wanted headaches to be a sign of a growing brain (who doesn’t), but at this price, dear god, leave it alone.
I was about to write about something else, but it’s 1am and my tea is cooling. So I’ll just say that Canberra is turning out nicely, thanks. This is a good place to be.
